give me a break

Friday, March 25, 2005. The first day of spring break. Everyone should be celebrating, and they are as evidenced by the ridiculous away messages I've seen today. Now, I'm a huge away message stalker, so imagine my disappointment when all I had to look at were the following 4 basic away messages with very little variety. Seriously, these were so bad that at first I thought Austin from Not Another Teen Movie ("Little Ms. Run-Home-to-my-Daddy, Ran home to her daddy.") had snuck into all my friends' and acquaintances' rooms and written them himself.

• "2 tests, 2 papers, and 50 cups of coffee later, I'm done!" AKA "Relaxing after such a hard week!"

Ok, everyone on this campus had a hard week this week, stop trying to brag about yours and the 16 tests you had along with 3 papers and a group project. I'm sure there's a club somewhere you can join where people will pretend to care, so go do that and get over yourself.

• "Spring Break!"

What?! You're kidding? It's spring break?? Good thing you pointed that out or else I might have thought it was Thanksgiving Break. It does look suspiciously like November, and those decorations I've been seeing everywhere might in fact be demented Turkey's and not the Easter bunnies as I at first thought they were...are you sure it's Spring Break?

• "Acapulco tomorrow!" OR "T-2 days until Cancun!!!"

Please, stop counting down to your Mexican vacation on your AIM away message/profile! Every time I see it, it makes me wish you would leave sooner so I could stop having to read it while I away message stalk. No one cares how many days until your vacation except you. [Seriously. No one.]

• "Out drinking!" OTHERWISE "Getting shitfaced"

At this point, do you really think it's necessary to point out that you are out on a Friday night consuming alcohol? I bet 99.8% of college students are staying in tonight and studying in advance for their next exam 3 weeks from now. Good thing you differentiated yourself through that poignant away message. *insert standing ovation here*

I know this sounds like a bitter angry post, but come on people. Enough with the stupid away messages. And I'm not bitter at all. I just had a really hard week, you know? I had like 3 tests and 15 papers...but I'm about to go out and drink. Yeah! Cause it's SPRING BREAK - Woo Hoo! And there's only 365 days until Tijuana!!